My Jungbub Journal – Fourteenth Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)
Why tired?
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I felt very tired today.
Interestingly, my wife also looked tired when she came back from her work.
We took a nap together before starting to cook dinner.
We talked about our fatigue.
Why are we tired so much lately?
I said, “Of course, it’s a time to hibernate. Let’s assume that we’re supposed to sleep all day long. But we just wake up and work to maintain our energy. We can minimize our activity.”
It’s a joke. We still love to practice yoga, taichi, hiking, and snorkeling. But, thinking in that way makes us feel better.
Actually, the real reason that I’m thinking is that we are releasing tensions from inside which we’ve built through our stress or overworking throughout the years. I had suffered from the tension in my right shoulder. The tension started when I practiced Reiki 2 years ago. I overworked. Then, it became even worse as I started my computer work. I worked 15-16 hours a day when I started my business. The pain became sharp and deep.
I feel the deep muscle tension is being released as I take more rest lately. And the tensions come out as fatigue. It’s like E=mc2. As mass turns into energy, it creates a huge amount of energy.
I can say F=mt2.
F: Fatigue I’m feeling now, m: muscle tension, t: time – the years that I’ve accumulated the muscle tension. If it’s less than 1 year, it’s okay but 2 years make it 4 times worse.
It’s not proved. Just my theory. Haha.
The level of my brain’s function
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Another change that I feel is the level of my brain’s function. Or, the level of my focus. It’s different than before. I can do more and faster during the same amount of time.
Recently, I focus on improving the operating system of my brain (Journal Day 05). Even today, I’m aware of the consequences on Saturday (12/8).
Is that why my focus level is enhanced? Because of my efforts to keep my awareness stretched? I don’t know. But, something has been changed in my brain. I’m thinking, talking, writing, and working differently.
I’m going to watch my brain more closely.
