My Jungbub Journal – Tenth Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)
My first test
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Got an email from him.
I set my first intention because I could watch my patterns as I communicated with him.
– Even though people abuse me, don’t react emotionally. Try to understand the situation from his/her situation. And reflect why I created this situation in my life.-
He sent me a business email this morning.
The universe is testing me.
‘So, you said that you’re going to try to change your pattern. Let me see how you take care of this case.’
I talked with my wife about the email.
She is very wise. I always ask her opinion when I make an important decision.
After the short conversation, I became clearer. Tomorrow or on Monday, I will reply to him.
Now I don’t react anymore.
Upgrading the quality of our material life
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The quality of our material life has been upgraded.
We go shopping every other weekend.
Today was our shopping day.
We needed soap.
At Costco, I picked a well-packaged bath gel.
As I picked it up, my memory came back and I stopped to reflect for a moment.
When we shopped two years ago, we chose only in-store brand soap bars -plain, no odor, no colors-.
I clearly remember my feelings when I looked at the fancy bath gel set at the time.
We couldn’t afford it. Actually couldn’t even think of buying it.
After we left the organization, we started over our life from scratch.
Our spirit was light but our material life was tight. Very tight.
The first two years were tough for us.
I believe that we’re well trained by the tough situation at that time.
As I picked it up today, I quickly checked.
The balance in our checking account is good.
We also have a high-interest saving account now.
Everything is under our budget.
No reasons why we can’t buy it.
Wow, we can buy it!!!
Upgrading our strength and independence
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It’s one of the changes in our material life.
But it also reflects the changes in our power and strength.
Our independence.
While we belonged to the organization, they didn’t want us to have power or independence.
They only wanted us to be obedient and surrender.
We were not allowed to develop our own thoughts, judgment or discernment.
No healthy debates or discussions were allowed on the subject of the principles or vision.
We have been repeating the same thing over and over for more than 20 years.
Now at least I’m contributing to our community.
The more freedom in our material life we gain, the more contribution to our community and society we will give.
No more control will be allowed in our life.
We control our life.
